Type and Appreciation - Part 2
This blog post continues our look at how the 16 MBTI types approach thankfulness and show appreciation. Last week, in part one, we gave you descriptions for the Thinking types, and this week you can read about the eight Feeling types. Click on an F-tile below to jump straight to the description you want.
The content for these Type and Appreciation posts was written by Michael Segovia, who is the lead facilitator for the MBTI Certification Program at CPP, Inc. It was originally published as a 16-part series on www.cpp.com earlier this year.
Do you celebrate birthdays and special events traditionally? Try not to take it personally if others do not focus on these activities as much as you do.
This statement relates to the friendly approach I often see from people who prefer Sensing and Feeling. My partner, Kevin, has preferences for ISFJ and has established traditions for how special events should be celebrated. His birthday was a couple of months ago, and while he is not a demanding person at all, his tradition of celebrating a birthday means there must be a cake. I’m not a baker, so I tend to get stressed about where I’m going to get the cake each year. I must try to remember that just getting a cake (any cake) fulfils his tradition expectation.
We have made it a point to stay home over the winter. It’s a nice tradition that we both appreciate. For him it is about doing special things, the same each year—like a drive to San Francisco so we can take our usual holiday walking tour of the city. It all starts at Union Square, where we get our picture taken in front of the tree before heading toward the Embarcadero. Along the way we visit several hotel lobbies to see the magical displays put up this time of year. We then cross over to the Ferry Building to shop and visit the wine bar. Irish coffee at the Buena Vista is next followed by a walk along the water until we reach the Filbert Steps. We walk up those steep and ‘too-many-to-count’ steps and end up near Chinatown and North Beach. It’s a fun day for me mostly because I get to see how happy it makes Kevin, each year. I’ve learned to look forward to this tradition.
You are likely to affirm and support others in their development. Remember to acknowledge their everyday specific actions and assistance.
Those who prefer iNtuition and Feeling get enthusiasm from long-term development. This could mean that the ‘little things’ don’t get recognized until they make up one ‘big thing’. Keep in mind that recognizing others for the little things they do helps them keep moving forward to accomplish those bigger things.
People with preferences for INFJ may sometimes be so future-focused that they forget to appreciate what is happening right in front of them. Think about stopping and literally smelling the roses or the winter snow or the tamales, or whatever wonderful smells come your way this time of year.
You probably show your appreciation for others with thoughtful actions and gifts. Try not to feel hurt if they fail to notice or mention your efforts.
This description focuses on the Sensing and Feeling parts of individuals who prefer ISFP. However, if you have ISFP preferences, you may tend to have more of a behind-the-scenes approach, and others may not notice what you have done for them. In turn, they may show appreciation in a way very different from the way you expect. Fortunately, as we get older, we tend to learn and then expect how others will respond, and then hopefully not get hurt (or as hurt) if we aren’t appreciated back in the way we prefer.
Helping and appreciating others with words and actions is likely to be natural for you. Interact with other people who use the same approach.
This describes the Introverted Feeling aspect of those who prefer INFP. These are my preferences, and I definitely relate to wanting to help and appreciate others. I have to remind myself to check whether I am doing this because I want to be appreciated, instead of being helpful just for the sake of being helpful. To keep things in perspective, it helps to remind myself that I don’t always need to get thanks for doing something important for another person. Just making a difference is very often more than enough.
You are likely to enjoy finding or making practical gifts or sharing events. Remember, others may not like spontaneous celebrations.
This description relates to the here-and-now, friendly approach often shown by individuals who prefer ESFP. But while this way of showing appreciation may reflect a tendency to enjoy hands-on activities in the moment, people with the opposite preferences might welcome a little more planned and subdued show of appreciation. If your preferences are ESFP and you are in a relationship with someone of the opposite type, try to mix it up a bit so you both get what you want.
You can appreciate others heartily with a flurry of attention. Some people may like more private, quiet recognition.
An enthusiastic, ‘cheerleader’ approach is often displayed by individuals who prefer ENFP. I actually love their positive, can-do attitude, but I have to admit that at times I can feel a bit overwhelmed by it. So if your preferences are ENFP, while thinking about getting your own needs met, also try to strike a balance in your approach in showing appreciation for those loved ones who might need a bit more space to celebrate in a more reflective manner.
You tend to show appreciation for others through honoring traditions and celebrating. Remember, others may prefer a more casual approach.
This describes the outwardly gregarious approach to celebrating with others often displayed by individuals who prefer ESFJ. It is also about their need to honor the traditions of the special events. If your preferences are ESFJ, this approach may sometimes lead you to over-planning events so they run like they are ‘supposed to’ and then getting agitated when things don’t go as planned. Further, it might make the other people involved feel like they can’t just sit back, relax, and just do nothing if that’s what they want to do.
You probably encourage and show appreciation for others regularly and openly. But remember, some people prefer to be appreciated privately.
A warm and enthusiastic approach is often displayed by individuals who prefer ENFJ. Being with friends (lots of friends) is especially important for them. If your preferences are ENFJ, and you are in a relationship with someone with the opposite preferences, keep in mind that finding a balance between Extraverted and Introverted time will help you both in the long run. Remember, different people like to be appreciated in different ways. Just because you might like public recognition doesn’t mean everyone else will.