Looking for love this Valentine’s? What if your date is just not your type?!
Posted 10 Feb 2012 by heathercoop
This all got us wondering: what can the MBTI® tool tell us about dating? Do birds of a feather stick together, or do opposites attract? And what makes a great date for different types?
Extraverts and Introverts
Great dates for an Extravert might involve tickling a beefeater under the chin in London or doing that thing with ice-cream on a roller coaster at Alton Towers – hushed museums or libraries are to be avoided (or anywhere else where they can’t talk!). As for Introverts, a quiet and intimate dinner for two would float their boat, but you might not get a second date if you ended up in the front row of a comedy club…
Sensors and Intuitives
A potential conversation-stopper for the two types is around details. While for the Sensor, the facts and details of a story are very important (as well as the order things happened in), an Intuitive may find these irrelevant and annoyingly tedious. Sensors, in contrast, may have difficulty following Intuitives’ abundant trains of thought and tangential conversation style.
Sensors might enjoy sloshing wine about pretending to know the difference between a Reisling and a Gewurtztraminer; for Intuitives, how about a murder mystery party where Reina Terra is suspected of killing Maria Von Schnapps with an electrified trouser press?
Thinkers and Feelers
Thinking types are logical in their approach to intimacy. Feeling types simply want to be intimate – full stop! To a Feeler, the cold and detached thinker may seem unemotional, often resulting in accusations of being a ‘cold fish’ or ‘having commitment issues’. However, to the Thinker, they are merely taking time to work through and understand their feelings in a logical way. They are likely to feel uncomfortable and react badly to being pushed to show intimacy too early on by their clingy Feeling partner. Thinkers need to know where they stand right from the start, and to have expectations clearly defined. Even the words “I love you” themselves might be open to the Thinker’s unrelenting quest for truth and classification (think Prince Charles when questioned about his love for Diana – “whatever love means”).
Thinkers are bound to love impressing their date with their knowledge at a quiz night; for your Feelers, turn up with flowers, whisk them off to a candlelit dinner, and maybe round off with a weepy movie where you can cuddle up in the back row.
Judgers and Perceivers
For a Judger, why not skip the date and head straight for your honeymoon? An all-inclusive package holiday, with a full itinerary and scheduled spontaneity sessions on the beach. Perceivers might prefer a flight-only holiday to a mystery destination (it could be the moon, it could be Bognor Regis – the fun is in the surprise!).
Want to know more?! We were reading these juicy titbits:
Type Talk: The 16 Personality Types That Determine How We Live, Love, and Work
16 Ways to Love Your Lover: Understanding the 16 Personality types So You Can Create a Love That Lasts Forever
Intimacy and Type: A Practical Guide for Improving Relationships for Couples and Counselors